TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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