hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
