Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
