wakey wakey hands off snakey
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
