I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
