she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
