I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
