eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
