Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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