i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
