if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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