it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
