I have demons in me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
3 2 1 whiskey
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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