In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
two words...techno handjob
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
