Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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