Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize