His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
