Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
