I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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