Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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