The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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