does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
