i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
