Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
