You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
