from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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