You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
