she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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