East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
one might say we're banned from that church
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Randomize
