Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
