In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
