I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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