so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
