You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize