remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So much rum. So many feels.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
