Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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