Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
