i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
