This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
