Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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