I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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