Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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