Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
