We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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