I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
