I am puke
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
