quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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