I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
