Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
