'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
