I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
