if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
